A student asked me a very good question the other day, and I had to think awhile before I responded. It is a question that many people never ask themselves and as a result miss an opportunity to apply some very important teachings. The question was “how do I know whether I am happy or just in denial?” When we talk about denial, we are talking about a defense mechanism that our minds use to ignore pain. We suppress unpleasant subjects and bury traumatic memories in order to function. Many times this suppression can lead to anger that is in turn suppressed, and a vicious cycle forms. Anxiety, stress and depression usually follow. Anxiety, stress and depression often lead to physical illness and more severe forms of mental disorder. So when we confuse denial with happiness, we may be setting ourselves up for more suffering and perhaps catastrophic illness.

The only way to recognize denial versus happiness is by truly being aware of your inner landscape. If you are feeling any anxiety or stress, chances are you are in denial. If you feel guilty or shameful, you may be in denial. If you constantly have concerns about the future or can’t stop obsessing on the past, you may be in denial. Happiness will have none of these things and, in fact, nothing else matters. Happiness is it’s own reward, and no other concerns bother your mind. A good way to tell the difference is how we feel if we don’t get what we want or lose something we want. The more we are attached to that desire the farther we get away from happiness.

One way to understand the difference between happiness and denial is the comparison to the difference between a cloudy and sunny day. Imagine that the sun is happiness and clouds are thoughts that cause us suffering. When we are truly happy, there are no clouds that block us from the sun. This is because we have shifted our perspective from living on the earth to living in the stars. Our consciousness is no longer constrained by gravity or the weather, we can see over the clouds (thoughts) to the sun (happiness).

When we are in denial, we may know that the sun (happiness) is there behind the clouds, but we cannot see it or feel it so we pretend it is sunny. This is also known as the fake smile or laugh. When we know something is supposed to be funny but we don’t feel happy enough to smile or laugh, and we do it anyway, this is denial. We can oftentimes pretend to be happy when we know we should be happy but don’t feel it. Coaches say “fake it to you make it.” I am not sure that this is better than forcing us to admit that we don’t feel happy.

Another way of describing it is that happiness comes from the heart and denial comes from the mind. Happiness bubbles up and denial is forced downwards. When you are happy, everything happens spontaneously and synergistically. When you are in denial, everything has to be micromanaged and controlled. If plans go awry, and you get frustrated, you weren’t happy at the outset. No matter what kind of mask or bravado you hold out to the world, on the inside there is nothing but fear and frustration, anger or guilt.

When we are happy, nothing else matters. That is a short hand way of saying that nothing else exists other than my happiness. Spiritually and metaphysically, when we are happy nothing else affects us because we are at a higher vibratory rate at which the denser energy of attachment, doubt and fear cannot exist. So when we are truly happy, we can watch people and things come and go without it affecting us whatsoever. So if we experience loss or gain, it will not affect us. When we are in the stars, looking down at the earth, clouds have absolutely no affect upon our emotional state or well being. We can respond to any situation with a genuine smile and the knowledge that it doesn’t matter.

Someone asked me how I would feel if someone I loved was diagnosed with cancer and died. I responded that I would have compassion for that person and I would be happy. This person looked incredulous and questioned how I could be happy in a moment like that. First of all, everything in this life is a gift, whether we win the lottery or contact cancer. The cancer is a gift to show us what we are doing to cause suffering in our lives and gives us an opportunity to change. We certainly can be compassionate about the experiences many people go through when confronted with a diagnosis of a terminal illness. However that is a cloud that can either block us from the sun of happiness or we can rise above it and see that the sun is always there.

Conversely, denial would have a different reaction. We might go numb, because with denial we are blocking ourselves from feeling anything except for pretend feelings that are imagined to prevent us from experiencing feelings we might think are inappropriate. We may go in the other direction, and get extremely angry or sad because our denial will not allow us to accept the reality of the situation. All of these reactions are signals that we under the cloud cover and blocking ourselves from the sun.

So if we are in denial, how do we get to the happiness? The first step is to get totally honest with ourselves. Our hearts can’t lie, but our minds sure can. So we have to get into our hearts and look around a little bit. When I say that, what I mean is to stay still long enough, to stop distracting ourselves long enough, to examine how we really feel about our life. I believe that all intellectualization aside, this is where the tire rubber meets the road. Are we really happy with our lives, or do we wish our lives were different. If we wish we had another job, another mate, another house, another set of parents, family or friends, the truth is we are not happy.

If we finally admit that we are not happy, in order to be happy, we have to change one of two things. We either have to change our circumstances or we have to change our minds. There is a great story about the Dalai Lama. One time he received an obviously wealthy woman who told him about how terrible her life was and how unhappy she was. She asked him what she could do. All the Dalai Lama said was “change your mind!” To the Buddhists, the only path out of suffering is to control our thoughts and what we think about. This requires great discipline, courage and practice.

So do we think “happy thoughts” to cover up the pain? No, this is denial. The only way to change our mind is to admit to ourselves that we are unhappy and that is wonderful. In other words, we have to be happy that we are unhappy. This is the true path to enlightenment. When we can admit to ourselves that we are unhappy and know that it is an illusion for our own enjoyment, then the unhappiness disappears like the hoarfrost in the sunlight.

This is how we can be happy when discovering something we don’t like. We simply realize that we can be happy not liking the situation. It is simply a choice, whether to be happy or not. When we can be happy knowing that, we raise our consciousness above the cloud cover and can see the truly incredible sights of the sun (happiness).

Happiness Vs. Denial is a post from: Healthy Life

Have you heard of Happy Nappers recently on TV? Like others I saw them on TV too. I wanted to get Happy Nappers for my four year old daughter Adriana for the holidays. I wanted to get her something special for the holidays and Happy Nappers sounded perfect. I ordered it from  www.happy-nappers.com official website and received it in a week. My Daughter loved it as soon as we opened the box. After her nap and when she wake up she loves to play with the pillow. The surprising thing is even though she has lots of toys she love to play with it all the time. It may be because she sleeps on them I don’t know why. When we flew to meet her grand ma she wanted to carry the ONLY toy which is her Happy Napper. I am glad I choose Princess Unicorn. (She is a big fan of Unicorn) If I remember right they have other choices like Princess unicorn, Stony Castle, dragon and love bug. Princess unicorn is in a super cool pink color. All happy nappers comes with their own home and it has a snoring or sleeping door bell which you can use (push it) to wake up the pet so your kid can start playing with them. Slumber parties are entertaining for her now because of the Happy Nappers. Now all her slumber parties are magical.

Another thing I wanted to mention about is the allergic information. I have to tell you this Adriana is pretty allergy and have to tell this did not giver her any allergy and I am quite happy about it. Her allergy is the main reason we could not get her a pet but happy napper is her new pet and she really love her pet. Oh yeah Happy Napper loves my daughter too. Happy nappers are very safe to play and sure it is created by a mom. I really thank the creators of Happy Nappers. Please feel free to share your opinion about happy nappers below.

Why does my daughter love Happy Nappers? is a post from: Healthy Life

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You Had Me at Woof: How Dogs Taught Me the Secrets of Happiness

You Had Me at Woof: How Dogs Taught Me the Secrets of Happiness is a post from: Healthy Life

Are you one of those who just talk about doing something, or

Are you one who will just do it?

How many excuses can you find?

One of the greatest blockages to Achieving Authentic Happiness is Procrastination

I often marvel at the number of us that put up every excuse to justify inaction. If you are one who is doing that, take a look around you and notice those who are enjoying the very things that you are not allowing yourself to experience.

Your Procrastination Pattern

Here is something you can do to raise your awareness of your own procrastination pattern.

Write down what you want to experience.

List all the excuses you raise that tell you why you can’t have or do it; eg. Not enough money or time

List all the people you know who have or are doing this regardless of these excuses.

Dale Symons is the founder of Conscious Creative Living® Authentic Happiness Coaching Programs. Dale is a highly skilled facilitator and Authentic Happiness Coach. For over 30 years Dale has been guiding people to reach their full potential and to achieve the authentic happiness they desire and deserve. Her recent achievement is the development of her powerful Home Study courses and workshops. This fulfils her desire to share her work with many more people.
Discover how you can apply her manifesting techniques to find happiness in all aspects of your life.  Dale’s latest project is to build a community of people who want to bring more authentic happiness into the world by becoming an honoured member of ConsciousCreativeLiving.com.

If you are serious about changing your Personal Procrastination Pattern find out how Dale Symons can personally support you to claim your Authentic Happiness, make an appointment today to have a complimentary chat with her by phone: , skype or email ..

For more information visit our website i.e.: http://www.consciouscreativeliving.com/

Being Serious About Manifesting Your Authentic Happiness? is a post from: Healthy Life

When you realize that you are the Choice Maker, who in any moment can decide to manifest something joyful, your life will change. You can decide to have what makes you experience authentic happiness or you can choose to suffer.

The action needed to make a choice

To make something happen in your life you must first apply your will. This means putting your focus on what you want to manifest. Regardless of what your fears throw at you keep the focus on what you want. The statement, “I will it to be” after you have decided what you want is very powerful.

When you make a choice for something you would love to have, especially when it will manifest authentic happiness, you raise within you all your negative thoughts that support your beliefs about why you can’t have it. This causes its own emotional pain and all too often you abandon your will and give up on your desired outcome. The only problem with this is that you cause yourself even more emotional pain.

Remember, “There is no gain without pain”.

We are always led into action or reaction according to our beliefs about a situation. These beliefs were developed by you when you were very young, up to when you were six years old. You were trying to work out then whether you would still be loved and cared for if you wanted something. Depending on the reactions you got from your parents determined whether you would go for what you really wanted later in life.

At around six years old you believed you had it nailed and you knew what you could expect and what you couldn’t expect. But hey, now you are an adult and you can make different choices that will bring more authentic happiness into your life and will be more in line with your heart’s desires.

For most people, it is very difficult to break down the barriers they erected to protect them from the pain of rejection they felt as a child when they wanted something. If you have difficulty with this Dale Symons is a skilled facilitator in the art of self actualization and self empowerment. Dale can skilfully support you to cut through your barriers and access what your heart desires and to allow authentic happiness to flow into your life.

Make an appointment with Dale today to have a complimentary chat with her by phone: , skype or email ..

Dale Symons is the founder of Conscious Creative Living® Authentic Happiness Coaching Programs. Dale is a highly skilled facilitator and Authentic Happiness Coach. For over 30 years Dale has been guiding people to reach their full potential and to achieve the authentic happiness they desire and deserve. Her recent achievement is the development of her powerful Home Study courses and workshops. This fulfils her desire to share her work with many more people.
Discover how you can apply her manifesting techniques to find happiness in all aspects of your life.  Dale’s latest project is to build a community of people who want to bring more authentic happiness into the world by becoming an honoured member of ConsciousCreativeLiving.com.

For more information visit our website i.e.: http://www.consciouscreativeliving.com/

You Make Your Own Authentic Happiness is a post from: Healthy Life

Anybody who lives in the United States, or who has ever seen a Disney movie knows that the Fairy Godmother must decide to intervene for a happy relationship to happen.

Or if you grew up with a Hefner/Guccione print magazine influence, then maybe you thought that the brand of shirt or shoes you wore or model of car, or amount of money you had was the key to happy relationship.

Turns out that those things, including the Fairy Godmother, have minimal influence on happy relationships.

What does influence relationships, according to scientists like Helen Fisher,Ph.D., John Gottman,Ph.D., and Robert Epstein,Ph.D., is regular efforts to build intimacy.

Yeah, like a happy relationship workout. No pill or potion, although dark chocolate does impact your brain chemistry and tell your brain to anticipate something fun.

Even that early stage of relationship which we call infatuation is coming under the unblinking eye of the functional magnetic resonance imaging machine, and Helen Fisher,Ph.D. is saying that there is a rhyme and reason to what has heretofore seemed like the most irrational time in a human’s life.

This is the time in a relationship where two people are extremely happy, and either can do no wrong. You know, your partner’s doggerel is Shakespearean and you talk and do other stuff all night long.

Fisher says there is a evolutionary reason for such behavior, and it is designed to run for only so long, until the progeny have gotten a decent start, then the participants in a romantic love relationship wake up to each other and have a decision to make. This is where the couple may need to incorporate the Epstein and Gottman tools to build a continuing happy relationship.

However, Helen Fisher has proposed that we human’s fall into four major personality types, each ruled by a different hormone, and her research says that we have the best chance of happy relationship if we begin with a compatible personality type.

If you want to find out what type personality you are, you need to take her quiz at Chemistry.

So it sounds like we may be able to eliminate some of the variabiltiy it the Fairy Godmother’s application of magic, and even in Cupid’s Aim.

But let’s just say that you did not go to Chemistry to discover your partner for the romantic love experience, and you wake up one morning after another all night discussion of your and your lover’s favorite novels, and you wonder to yourself, “How did I get here”?

Well, at that point the magic has worn off, and the participants have a decision to make.

Do we continue our coupleship, or do we move on?

If couples decide to work on their happy relationship subsequent to the romantic love stage, then they should definitely look at the work of Robert Epstein, Ph.D. and John Gottman,Ph.D.

Epstein has written some very intriguing articles recently, in Scientific American Mind, questioning how it is that arranged marriages in India last so much longer than ours here in the West.

Those folks in arranged marriages may have met once prior to the ceremony, but they stay together 95% of the time, reporting increased happiness.

Epstein says that is because those folks make some conscious effort to practice intimacy rather than waiting for a rapturous experience to fall randomly from heaven.

He says that all of us could practice intimacy doing exercises like soul gazing (not staring) where you take a couple of moments to look deep into the eyes of your partner hoping to see their soul.

Epstein has students in his class practice that exercise during the first day of classes, and the participants report an astounding increase in feelings of closeness.

Closeness is a great platform for happy relationships.

Epstein suggests a number of easy to do exercises that couples can do to increase feelings of happiness, including breathing synchronization.

I have my own version of that exercise, synchronizing heart beats and examining the heart beat of the relationship.

I use a heart rate variability biofeedback tool to teach my domestic violence counseling clients how to get their own heart beat in coherence, and then the heart beat of the relationship in coherence.

In that process they learn that the heart beat can move into and out of coherence in the proverbial heart beat.

So they are learning to pay attention to relationship happiness in much shorter increments than ever before.

John Gottman,Ph.D. has also been studying marriage and domestic violence and happy relationships for about 30 years, and he and his wife, Julie Schwartz-Gottman have put together a workshop that couples can do at home which teach about the skills that couples can practice together.

The skills are teased out from the observations the Gottman’s have made of the folks they call the Master’s of Marriage, and the point of the workshop is that we can repeat their efforts and have happy relationships.

No magic wand or potion needed, just regular practice.

Happy Relationships is a post from: Healthy Life

My opinion is outside the box of typical scientific thinking and perceived professional explanation. It’s not happiness that we need to pursue to feel joy; it’s what happiness is not that should be addressed.

When you came into this world you entered in a natural state of happiness and bliss. You knew you came here to fulfill a definite spiritual purpose and were excited about the journey which you had personally planned out for yourself. This natural state of being is still there anchored deeply within you, however, it has been covered over by a smoke screen of influences and ego based dogma. This dogma requires daily attention to produce the state of sadness that is overpowering your natural happiness. Spiritual seekers understand that you always receive more of what you focus on. By focusing on the negative dogma of life-situations and perceived problems you unintentionally blinded your natural state of happiness. The good news is, with a little effort, this negative process can be reversed and your natural state of happiness can again be brought to the forefront of your life, everyday.

The best way to renew the natural state of happiness is through a conscious process of removing the situations from your life that are clouding your natural happiness and spiritual life plan. This is not something which can be corrected overnight, as it has taken your mind (ego) years of manipulation to hypnotize you into the place you are today. However, once you truly decide to choose a life of happiness, over one of sadness, then and only then will you be ready to start the detoxification process. The truth, whether you realize it or not, is that you are addicted to sadness, and that addiction is the root cause of your current negative reality. As with any other addiction, you first need to acknowledge that you have a problem. When you freely do that the recovery process can begin to have a positive impact on your life. And, the really great part is that you have a choice, to start detoxifying immediately, or continue to blame your life-situation on other outside influences.

Happiness is a state of consciousness; therefore, if you move through life based upon a state of unconscious illusion, you subject yourself to the influences of others rather than your own true nature. It’s when you eliminate the things (form based mind dogma) from your life that cause sadness that you will awaken to the true joys of life. Then you will begin to focus on, and actually fully embrace, the happiness within you.

Through conscious awareness of your current sadness addiction you can reverse the hypnotic trance you currently acknowledge as reality. The secret is to balance all the categories of your life, such that, they are in harmony with your original life plan for being here. When you learn how to do that you will be happy everyday of your life. It personally took me over fifty years to finally understand this deep spiritual truth and to acknowledge that I was living a life of unconscious random clutter. To make the choice to return to the happiness within was not hard to do, and once I found an easy conscious plan to do so life began to change immediately.

Happiness Is A Natural State Of Being To Embrace is a post from: Healthy Life

For Guide:
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If you’re sick and tired of running around totally broke while other players get nice fishes and aquariums and the most expensive props and special items, this information is for you.

You’ve probably always wondered why you can’t seem to make as much money or level up as fast as the other players in the game.

I used to wonder the same thing. I thought,

“Where are these people making money so fast?”

“Are they buying it on Happy Aquarium?”

“What are fishes they training and selling?”

So I set out to spy on all the successful players I could find to see just what they did to earn all of their money and to level up so fast.

I spent months using stealth tactics to track high level players everywhere from the forums to adding them and visiting their aquariums and back.

I discovered just what it was they were doing to make extreme amounts of money- and then improved upon their methods myself and even created amazingly profitable new techniques.

They never suspected a thing, that is, until I started making more money than all of them…If they found out that I spied on them- they would hate me even more!

For Guide:
http://happyaquariumguide.blogspot.com

Happy Aquarium Guide:happy Aquarium Secrets is a post from: Healthy Life

There is a vast field of music and art and literature.  One can devote one’s entire life to any of them and be supremely happy.  Humans have made some things expressly for happiness-games and sports, food and drinks, TV and motorcars, ships, and planes.  And, of course, there is money and all the things and services one could buy with it.

A single genre of literature, a single instrument of music, a single school of dancing, is enough to fill us with happiness.  We know of persons who have made a single aspect of the world their passion and devoted their entire life to it and derived success and happiness out of it.  It may be bird watching, white water rafting, tennis, football, poetry, or films.  In fact life is too short to enjoy all the happiness it offers to us through all its aspects.  The problem is not that there is not enough of happiness in the world.  But it is the opposite.  There is too much of it.

Fine arts, whether it is poetry or prose, fiction or non-fiction, painting, music, or dance, has the power to engross us and make us infinitely happy.  In fact, one may live in the world of fine arts and be ever happy.   I am perfectly happy sitting under a quiet bower beside a calm river under the serene sky with a book in hand, or lying in the bed under a cozy quilt on a rainy day listening to great classics.

Take for example, literature. It gives mental pleasure that is superior to the worldly pleasure.  It does not require external favourable conditions, except a book.  There are many books in the world that I consider everybody must read.  It is not necessary that one reads only the best or the most serious books only.  One can take occasional bad book with good books.  As a starter, I would recommend that you go to your neighborhood library, and get a good book according to your taste.  It need not necessarily be serious literature. Get a detective novel or romance book or even comics.  In the evening cozily settle down in the bed or sofa and read.  May be next week read another book.  Once the habit is formed try to read serious literature.  Make reading a life long habit.  

I find sports a great source of happiness.  You derive great happiness and peace of mind playing any game. You also get exercise which is good for your body.  But there is another benefit. While you are playing your mind is far away from worldly problems. You don’t think of them while you play.  I believe that playing is a sort of meditation.

“The secret of happiness is this: let your interest be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile”-Bertrand Russell.

BE HAPPY!

Happiness Can Be Found In Human Made Things is a post from: Healthy Life

They’ve come to regard happiness as an important aspect of their life. For others though, it is as elusive as spotting an endangered species in the middle of the street. But that doesn’t mean it is unattainable. Here are some remarkably simple tips on how to achieve happiness in life.

<b>Happiness Tip # 1: Be at Peace with Yourself.</b>

If you want to experience lasting joy, you must first come to terms with yourself. First of all, how do you feel about your life? Are you satisfied with yourself? Are you contented with your job?

There are probably a number of answers for these questions, but what’s most important here is that you accept yourself for who you are.

If there are a couple of unpleasant skeletons in your closet, you must try to deal with them one by one. That way, you’ll be able to breathe easier every waking day of your life.

<b>Happiness Tip # 2: Think in Positives.</b>

One powerful way on how to achieve happiness in life is to think positively. One thought at a time does wonders for a person’s morale.

Start thinking positively the moment you wake up. Be grateful for having another opportunity to live a meaningful life. Think about how beautiful the weather is today and how fortunate you are to have such a life.

If negative thoughts spring to mind, immediately shake your head and cancel them out; then look for the positive side in every situation.

It also helps to avoid hanging around with negative-minded people (also known as toxic people). They would only damper your mood and state of mind despite all the great things happening around you.

Being positive keeps your temper in check and allows you to deal with stressors effectively. Continue this practice of thinking in positives; and pretty soon, it’ll come naturally to you.

<b>Happiness Tip # 3: Make Somebody Else Happy.</b>

Another effective way on how to achieve happiness in life is to cheer someone up or make somebody else happy.

Whether it is someone you know or a stranger on the street doesn’t matter. What’s important is the feeling you get after making others smile and giving them joy. It could be as simple as treating your cousins to ice cream or giving someone a big help in a project.

Happiness is infectious and spreads easily. It works pretty much like the Christmas spirit. Believe me when I say that you’re also doing yourself a big favor by spreading happiness.

These days, people seem too cynical and vulnerable to depression. It’s high time that more people start learning how to achieve happiness in life. After all, in the end, wouldn’t we want to remember a life filled with bliss and wonderful memories, than one filled with disappointment and anger?

How To Achieve Happiness In Life: 3 Happiness Tips That Work Like Magic is a post from: Healthy Life